Tuesday, 19 February 2013

Sticks and stones.........

I was very disappointed today to read about Hillary Mantel’s comments about the Duchess of Cambridge.  I really enjoy reading Hillary Mantel’s  books and I am very surprised that she would make such unkind comments about the Duchess who is in no position to fight back.  I notice that in some of the papers they are trying to argue that the comments have to be seen in context. I don’t feel that any context justifies derogatory remarks that are bound to hurt.

There seems to be a trend lately that people in the public eye feel they can say things which are bound to attract media interest.  Unfortunately it tends to come from the sisterhood who you would think would be more supportive of each other.

Many women indulge in this kind of behavior and you do wonder what is the driver behind the comments. Could it be jealousy? envy ? publicity? Being controversial ? spitefulness? Inadequacy?

The difference nowadays is that these remarks are made very publicly in the celebrity world with what seems little regard for the consequences.  In our world comments tend to be made behind  the backs of individuals. Not sure which is worse!

The Duchess is obviously beautiful, well groomed, and intelligent. I hope she has broad shoulders and can disregard this unwelcome attention.

For many “ordinary” people and specifically older people who take care of themselves and try hard to maintain their looks they also seem to attract negative responses.  Its almost as if people are looking for an explanation as to why these people look good and then try to use this findings to detract from the positive image.

I have heard comments about mature attractive women along the lines of…………

Well what do you expect with her money?

She must have had some work done?

She looks like mutton dressed as lamb!

She should act her age!

She’s so vain!

One of the celebrities who attracts a lot of these remarks is  Jane Fonda.  She is 75 and looks absolutely marvelous.  She works very hard maintaining her figure and looks.  Her appearance recently on the red carpet was breathtaking .  This was acknowledged but with comments from the public along the lines above.

Very sad isn’t it that many find it difficult to celebrate what people, young and not so young have achieved in their own way.  You could argue that its human nature. What has been reported today I feel  has crossed the line. 
 Maybe there should be more of a call for keeping inner demons and insecurities under control .........…..and  to support the sisterhood!!!  

What do you say?

Monday, 18 February 2013

Hair today............

Why is it that some people feel that once they reach a certain age they should cut off their hair?  I can understand it if you feel that the new haircut will suit you better and that you want a change - but not as I heard recently said to a 50ish woman that  " well it will be easy for you".  If you want to make it easy then you could shave off the lot!

I read recently that Davina McCall's grandmother had said to her that maybe she shouldn't have her hair long at her age....

This article also describes another woman's experience and her defiant stance against the haircutting lobby!
My hair is not as long as when I was 18 but is still shoulder length and will remain so!

Surely you choose a hairstyle to maintain or indeed increase your attractiveness - somehow the above comment seems to imply that at a certain age you no longer count and that you have opted out of the human race.

Similar discussions are held around whether to go grey or not. Some say "I can't be bothered". Why can't you? If you feel that grey suits then fine but there are so many subtle hair colours and variations available which can provide a softer image and individuality.

In the main I have kept my hair long - I have tried short but long works better for me.  Its also more versatile - you can have it up, down, tied back......... I don't think it takes a disproportionate amount of time to wash and dry.
From an early age my very dark brown hair started to show flecks of grey. The odd ones I would pull out until someone said you will get 2 in place.......I know an old wives tale ........

I started colouring my hair in my 40s - I hated these home kits and the mess and they tended to be completely uniform  in colour unlike a natural head of hair which shows variation.

When I reached 50 my husband said why don't you go to the hairdresser and have it dyed professionally.  I had been thinking of doing so for a while as my natural colour now didn't seem to go with my skin tone anymore.  So I now sport a more mid brown colour with highlights which now suits
me better.

I tend to be "topped up" every 4/5 weeks. Sometimes when I examine the regrowth it still comes as a shock to know what is lurking beneath!  Not for me!!

Of course you will never look like you did on your 20s but it doesn't mean you have to sever all links!!

What do you think??

and in summary.......!

Well my fellow silverstrivers  lets have a look at some of the topics we have shared so far................

Cunning Plan!
......importance of having a framework, plan and objectives

.......we all have tried many diets and have some have worked and some have not. We understand the importance of keeping on striving to maintain a sensible weight, for health, looks and mobility.  The older we get the more we realise how good weight maintenance helps to ward off many illnesses or conditions such as diabetes, high blood pressure and poor joints
one website you might like which helps to monitor weight and exercise and provides advice which I have used and have recommended to friends ......
you can also download as  free app on iPhone

.......whatever your poison choose what works for you - gym, walking, pilates, yoga - must be something which works for you!  Check out this link of exercise for over 50s

.......remember the uniform?  Look forward to revisiting the Fashion topic shortly.  Hope London Fashion Week delivers some goodies!

Mature Dating
......never too late to find "the one"! We looked at good and not so good experiences. Its worth striving but also worth exercising caution!

Teeth whitening
........in my opinion one of the most important "beauty" treatments involves regular visits to the dentist and hygienist and exploring which cosmetic treatments may work for your teeth.  Good dentistry, good for your looks, health and enjoyment of food!

........not always seen as a problem for all but if you are interested in the physical look and tone of your body then there are many treatments put forward by the cognoscenti.  Each to their own but regular exercise to me is a significant part of the solution.

Laser rejuvenating facials
.... a brief look at whats available - beauty clinics and at home - await readers experiences!!

Tuesday, 12 February 2013

Be My Valentine!

celebrations,emotions,hearts,love,romances,special occasions,symbols,Valentine's Daycelebrations,emotions,hearts,love,romances,special occasions,symbols,Valentine's Day

As it’s nearly Valentines Day it seems appropriate to turn our attention to love!

It must be quite daunting to find yourself back on the dating scene after so many years.  I have friends in this situation who have had very mixed experiences of meeting new people - in the main from internet dating.
I listen with amazement to their accounts of their brief encounters and the feelings and insecurities  which tend to go with the territory.

As we pass the 50 mark we tend to be more set in our ways and maybe are less tolerant and less willing to compromise.  This is evident from the conversations I have had recently. Here are  common themes coming from my friends

-       - We are very different creatures physically from what we were in our 20s. My friends describe how they are worried about their bodies and looks and lament the passing of time and the effect on their once youthful lovely complexions.
-      - This is only one side of the encounter as the ladies also despair of the people they meet who make little effort in trying to make a good impression rarely do they give good reports of their dates. Lack of grooming, and hygiene and terrible teeth are cited as the more unpleasant observations. Whatever happened to those young people who used to spend hours getting ready to go out on the town? So much attention was paid to appearance back  then
-      - Profiles on dating sites are a challenge as stating your real age may put people off finding out more about you – so my friends without exception shave a few years off their real age and funnily enough are quite indignant when they find that their dates have done exactly the same thing!

I have 2 friends in particular who have had problematic experiences…..

-       - one is 61, looks far younger than her years, is glamorous, well dressed, intelligent and of independent means. She tells me of some men who think they are gods gift to women and make it clear that they have so many women  to choose from even though they do not pass the attractiveness test on any level.  Some are mean and scrupulous about making sure you pay exactly half of any expenditure – even buying a drink! We have laughed about making sure she takes enough change on her dates!  One of the worst aspects is that the men  think you are desperate and have a cavalier attitude and...... have high expectations!
-    - The other is 54 and very attractive, very bright and has held senior positions in many large organisations. She has had difficulty meeting people and so used an internet dating site.  I remember very clearly the profile she showed me of an attractive man who seemed to have everything.  My first response was “what’s the catch”.  She met him and liked him and one thing led to another. Throughout their courtship she gave me accounts of their relationship which I found very worrying.  He said and did things which I thought did not give the impression of a man in love and who cared for her. As a third party I could stand back and see things coldly and rationally.  Although the man claimed to be wealthy I was concerned that she did not part with any money to him.  She assured me she wouldn’t but as time went by her resolve weakened and she is now fighting to reclaim a significant amount of money from him.  She feels very foolish and let down and says she will never trust anyone again.

      Exercising caution is vital and bad experiences hopefully make us wiser.   No matter what age you are you can still make a poor choice!


      However it isn’t all doom and gloom. I have friends and relatives where dating in later life has worked very successfully. One met through a lonely hearts column, another from internet dating and another from an organized dinner party for singles where you moved round the table after each course so you could have a reasonable conversation time with several people.

      For those who are happy and settled I think its important to still keep romance alive and to make sure that you both maintain standards so you still remain attractive to each other.  I am a firm believer of although they say opposites attract - similar people have more in common and the love and friendship endures.  Many have said of my husband and myself that we are so different and questioned whether are relationship would last - but little did they know
    - in very many ways we are so so similar  - in terms of values, work ethic, interests and humour. After 23 years together my husband still tells me every day he loves me and that he couldn't do without me............isn't that what it's  all about?                      ..........awwwww :-)


Thursday, 7 February 2013

Cellulite Busters

When did the word cellulite come into play?  When I was young no-one ever mentioned cellulite . However people did tend to wear more clothes and have more cover!  Nowadays with so much on show we tend to notice these imperfections .  Somehow the magazines seem to relish the thought that even celebrities can be afflicted and it doesn’t matter if you are fat or thin you can still have this badge of honour. 

It must be dreadful if at your most relaxed on the beach that someone somewhere is focusing their lenses on the offending part of your body – even worse if the photos then appear in the papers the following day shared with the world.   Happily we mere mortals are not subject to this kind of scrutiny but we do tend to be hard on ourselves if we find that the once firm legs,  bottom or arms have turned into “cottage cheese”.

About 5 years ago I noticed the back of my thighs were starting to show these frightening signs – I was staggered and I mentioned it to my husband and he said “I know” – of course the usual female response was “what do you mean you know?  Why didn’t you tell me?”  His then said drily “I was too polite to say!” Fortunately we share a strange sense of humour and both had a laugh about it.  He followed up with the usual supportive husband comments like ……”if that is all you have to worry about…”  and “ I love you the way you are….” 

As we women know its not only their opinion which counts but also our own.  I knew I had to do something about it – who knows this could be the thin edge of the wedge!  So I read up on the definitions and causes  and treatments. Here is one of the definitions......

Cellulite is nothing more than normal fat beneath the skin. The fat appears bumpy because it pushes against connective tissue, causing the skin above it to pucker.
There are extensive lists of possible causes including , hereditary, diet, weight, diet, lack of exercise………………
The jury is still out!
Like many I thought what could I do that would be a quick fix so tried various creams and apart from smoothing the outer surface of my thighs didn’t really do anything miraculous to change the appearance.  So I was determined to remove the half a stone I had acquired and also increase my exercise workout regime including more toning and pilates. I also used sugar scrubs which I think helped to improve circulation.
Additionally I read a couple of articles on a form of leggings which claimed that they helped in reducing cellulite and could be worn at the gym to good effect.  They are called Proskins and I decided to try them. I was skeptical at first but I have been pleasantly surprised and I am feel they have also significantly contributed to my cellulite turnaround.
This is what the company say on their website……
Proskins slim fabric has some pretty special cosmetic ingredients impregnated into it. Each ingredient has special properties that help you look and feel better, lose inches, moisturise and soften your skin and reduce cellulite just by wearing them.Proskins slimming leggings are very convenient as they can we worn as gym leggings, running leggings, as sleep wear or under conventional clothing. Whenever you wear them they will be acting as cellulite leggings. The special ingredients impregnated in the fabric include caffeine, aloe vera, vitamin E, retinol and ceramides.

I am pleased to say that my cellulite problem has virtually disappeared - but it does take time and some patience!
I have concluded that  exercise particularly is the key and but that there are other factors which I took on board which have helped too.

Any other experiences which you think have worked for you?